BEHIND THE SCENES
My Process Journal
A peek behind my weekly process with sketches, brainstorms, idea dumps, etc. A lot of work and frustration was put into this project, and this is just a glimpse of the final weeks leading up to the digital showcase. Please click the button below to see videos of the initial and final process.
WEEKS 1-5
I didn't have much to show for these weeks as a lot of it was a back and forth regarding my project and whether I should use different mediums, or a singular medium, etc. It was definitely difficult particularly because I tend to scrap a lot of my ideas in favor of either other ones or my low self esteem prevents me from sticking to one idea. That, and including the current situation that has led us to this digital showcase meant I had to go back and revise a lot of my original ideas regarding this project, so much of week 1-5 was revised and is less relevant now.
WEEK 6
Agony/Mourning Sketches
This week was largely about sketching my first two digital works for the project-thematically around the emotions agony and being in mourning essentially at the complete loss and violation of my personal space and trust. It was a difficult few emotions to process especially as I struggled with representing the human form and connecting it with myself, as I also have high self esteem issues ingrained in me from several years of bullying and parental influence.
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We had program alumni visit for this week and something I learned was that I'm not alone in having difficulty executing my project and having a lot of trouble with the themes and planning stage. It was comforting to know that and made me feel more confident about pursuing various ideas despite this 'later' stage of my project.
WEEK 7
Numb/Fury Sketches
This week focused on the next two emotions I was sketching-a contrast of numbness and complete and utter fury. These two stood out to me during the investigation phase of the trauma where I was forced to revisit my story over and over and over again to various people who looked at me with pitying eyes. It was genuinely angering to me that I was forced to bare my soul (as a generally very secretive person) because of this one individual who took advantage of me and my feelings for him at the time.
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I tried Graham Wallas' method of creativity as applied to my capstone project, which consisted of four steps designed to come up with new ideas and inspire innovation. While this was an interesting method, I found that I usually either skip the illumination step or combine it with the incubation step for it to work best with my personal process.
WEEK 8
Intimacy/Isolation Sketches
This week was a difficult one as I struggled to adjust to an entirely new style of living and working in one room almost 24/7. Nevertheless I worked to revise my original ideas for emotions to represent and brainstormed a few lines of descriptive text to kickstart ideas for drawing. I also considered utilizing abstract visuals to depict some emotions as well, which was an idea I was playing with previously. Feeling the contrast between what is intimacy for me and the isolation that I feel from having my personal space violated and taken away from me is something I have wanted to explore through various mediums, and especially wanted to explore with this capstone project.
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As suggested by the process journal prompt of the week, I came up with a few sketches of a curation plan for the digital exhibition which largely was minimalistic to contrast with the digital artwork I was submitting. As I am also limited to the Wix template given to me, it was interesting to see and possibly play with the different gallery options available in order to curate a cohesive exhibition. I'm considering having blocks of more abstract visuals and digital artwork in order to separate each thematic emotion within the same gallery-that or having a separate subpage for each set of emotions to individually emphasize them.
WEEK 9
Abstraction Completion
This week, I focused on the completion of the abstract works that would accompany each set of emotions. It was difficult to stay motivated especially due to continually being isolated in my home. I did however continue to draft sketches and attempt to be more concise with my process as Heather, my advisor for this capstone recommended during our meeting. Overall I think I was mildly successful, and finding a layout that works for me with the website template was another part of what I focused on this week.
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During my advisor meeting, the main advice I received was as mentioned above to emphasize and clear up my process to convey my message more clearly. I thought a bit more on this and decided to proceed with my original plans to have an abstract piece of work indicating the color palette used and artwork depicting the human form.
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Overall I am incredibly tired of all my remaining schoolwork-honestly I am focusing on surviving day to day through mental health issues and such. Not to be offensive or anything but this project is honestly not at the top of my priority list anymore and I am struggling more and more for motivation for working on it.
WEEK 10
Sketching to Rendering Process
This week was primarily working on rendering practice of the human form based on my sketch work that I did a few weeks previously. This was a difficult week because I still don't have an art style that I like, so I definitely had to put myself out of my comfort zone many times in order to practice blending, rendering, and overall digital painting of the human forms.
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A bit of overall feedback I got on the Second Look Presentation discussion was regarding having a bit of 'flavor text' to supplement my artworks-I agree with that and will draft a few finalized sentences to somewhat describe the emotions underlying the artwork. It was also advised that I indeed include the speedpaint portions of my sketches and artworks to show the process behind them, and I also agree with this. They will have their own section depending on the type of speedpaint.
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